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Rollercoaster…that’s what I can say about myself these days. Don’t know what I really am thinking. My writing is all disconnected from my head…my thoughts…I can’t get my uni-work done…it’s all a mess…I’m angry at the moment…angry..furious…and sad….which has brought me to drinking……this sucks….

I’m around and about…still kicking!!

Haha, Ohhh, man! It’s been so long since the last time I actually posted anything. So….why? Well if there is a reason, I can’t think of one…the thing is that I haven’t really cared enough about this project to prioritise it…..which may seem strange. But the thing is that I’ve been thinking a lot, which is a good thing…especially seeing that I am doing Philosophy…

I’d like to list all the stuff that has been streaming through, but I’m not going to do that just now…What I am going to do is show some of the stuff I’ve been reading and thinking about that are actually shareable!

First off: I’ve been saving my hair now since X-mas….I’ve been shaving and trimming as well…but now I’ve decided to let my hair continue to grow and I am letting my beard grow as well….this will be fun.

I’ve been doing essays and reading, probably not enough though….Which means I’m gonna have to catch up on it sometime soon….hmmm

I’ve started skateboarding…not really much to tell, except that I’m happy to say that I haven’t broken anything yet. *KNOCK ON WOOD* (I had never  stood on a skateboard before last weekend)

I have gotten into habits of thinking a bit more critically and viewing the world a bit less blue eyed—starting to lose my innocence, not my humor though….I think that’s one of the most important things that one should hold on to…

I’ve been socially active, more so than I have been earlier  (last term), which is good….that it is!

Hmmm, what else….again, this is just a post to show that I’m still breathing, some better content post might show up in the near future….

Oh yes, I bought a book on Concentration and Meditation, I’m hoping that it will help me get more into my poorly disciplined meditation….since I have the feeling that I don’t really understand the basic idea of it this might show very useful!

Planing for Second Go

I’ve decided to do some proper planing for this next attempt. I will have a stricter schedule, make a cycle to cycle activity list and I will go further into details when writing the blog.

When I say details I am meaning that I will:

Make short diary entries for every nap.

time how long I sleep: Relevant to see how duration affects results, something I am interested in since my last try resulted in short naps with no restorative affects.

how I feel before and after my naps: Are the naps giving me the desired result/rest?

Eating and exercise: Energy input + output, how it can affect naps

I might find some more points to make notes about as well. The important part is to make observations and document them. Since I’ve been calling it an experiment, I should treat it as one.

It will allow me to see how I progress and give some pointers to myself what to do or not to do on a hypothetical third attempt, or for anyone reading this before having a go at it themselves.

Polyrestart

It was day 7 yesterday, I had been napping for 7 days…up until day five I didn’t have a single oversleep or missed nap or anything of the like….however after a 40 minute oversleep on day five it started becoming obvious that something wasn’t right. I didn’t have any more oversleeps, I didn’t miss any more naps. I slept during all my naps. I’d wake up before my alarm, often 10-15 minutes after laying down. The problem has been that I haven’t been getting any rest from my naps, after one day of this I thought it was only temporary. However, upon reaching the end of day 7 without any restorative naps for two days I decided that a restart is needed.

I found it quite surprising to have this happen. I’ve read about other people’s problems with keeping the schedule and all that. Most people start oversleeping regularly because of one slip. I never heard of anyone losing their 5 day progress to a 40 minute nap.

I will have another go very soon. Depending on how much time is needed to come back to monophasic schedule for the restart, it might be ok to start already this week, towards the end of this week…landing day 3-4 on sat-sun, or maybe waiting until next week.

It is very clear to me that any oversleep at all will cause way more havoc than I thought it would, so I will start compiling a list, the big fat list, of things to do while sleep deprived. A list to keep me off my bottom during the early hours of the day. The experiment is shaping up to be an even more interesting one than I thought. I did get many new exciting things to think about on the first run, and now on the second run I can compare the things I experienced with the first attempt.

What would be great is having someone to do it with, considering stories like Puredoxyk’s where the having a partner seems helpful in making sure you keep on schedule.

Polyphasic Day 6

As the previous posts show, I was quite scared there for a while. I was afraid that I had wrecked the whole schedule, making all the effort I put in for nothing.

Things have turned out differently, it doesn’t seem to have affected my adaption…I am falling asleep and getting up before the alarms and I’ve had REM on most of them. The last one I had at 2 am was strange, I keep falling asleep and waking up without having any sense of how long I’ve been out for. The first naps I had on day 5 were in such a way that it felt like ages. I am guessing that it is happening at random at this point…might have something to do with how tired I am feeling and such, but considering the way I am sleeping I would be led to believe that there’s nothing that should be considered a permanent setback to my REM sleep.

I am not so naive that I think I’ll just walk away with a failure like the one I had yesterday. The next week will show how the schedule will work when pressured, and any unfortunate side effects of my mishap will probably make itself known within the first couple of days. I have been feeling a bit sleep deprived the last 12 hours, but nothing as bad as day 3-4…If I must go through another set of hard days like these I will make sure to be better prepared.

I will have my first regular day back to Uni tomorrow….it’ll be interesting to see how I am going to function in a lecture…will I be able to take notes and follow the lecturers train of thought? Even if not, it’ll still be a good opportunity to have a go at some more social interaction…I’m feeling the need for some more human contact, it’s not really bad or anything…but I wouldn’t mind it. Uberman might make my days open for social happenings while my nights could be study-oriented. I am going to contemplate some more on how I am going to use my extra time….

Naptime dilation

The first nap I had after this mornings accident was very short. I didn’t think much about it, figuring that it might be that I was anxious about not being able to sleep or not dreaming.

However, the nap I had at 14.00 was also out of the ordinary (compared to what I’ve experienced during the last week, most of this stuff is pretty far out to some). I laid down and fell asleep within 1-2 minutes,  then I woke up ten minutes later…it felt as if I had been sleeping and dreaming for several hours, actually at first when I woke up I thought that I’d overslept. When I saw that only ten minutes had passed I decided to lay back down and try to relax for a couple of minutes. I fell back to sleep, had another session of vivid and long lasting dreams, and managed to wake up before my alarm went off.

This never happened before today, could it have been triggered in any way by my mishap earlier this morning? Is it the brains reaction to the previous days of sleep deprivation? I am only left with questions at this stage. These dreams were fantastic! I lived through a whole life in a single dream! Details have become blurry since I didn’t write any of it down when I woke up, but as an experience this has been the best one I’ve had in several years, it’s as if it has loosened a valve inside my body and all these fantastic things keep happening inside my head, broadening my understanding and thought.

Safe or not, I’ll still walk the walk..

I did manage to take my morning nap in a regular fashion, not oversleeping and actually waking up before my alarm went off. I am still feeling a little sleep deprived and things are as they’ve been the last two days. I am hoping the incident hasn’t caused me too much trouble. I have decided that if this happens again within 24 hours I will have to restart the project in a couple of weeks time, considering that I’d have to get back into a monophasic schedule before moving on to have another go.

I will learn from my mistake though, from now on I will have a active preemptive policy instead of a passive one…I think that the passive approach is what got me in this situation…reading during the night is obviously not a good thing, not yet anyway. I will make sure to get all of my naps right during the day, make a big fat list of things to keep me busy during the night and then just throw myself back into the race.

If I can save my adaption is something which will be clearer in a couple of days time. If I am able to fall asleep and hit REM on several consecutive naps, I am going to call it a save.

Good Stuff!

After having an incident of some lost time this morning I am fairly certain that I might have fallen asleep in the uprightsitting position. I hope this hasn’t had too much of an detrimental effect on the progress I’ve made…apparently sitting is not something I should be doing in such an situation…

I’ll check back in after my next nap to do some damage report…

Polyphasic day 4, the end….of day 4 that is

Haha, almost scared myself there! No, but seriously…I have had a great day, experienced several different ways of going into a nap and different ways of coming out of them as well.

As I believe I posted earlier today I had my worst run-in with sleep deprivation yet. I had a hard time concentrating and spent my time from the 2 am nap until 11 am being in the narcolepsy dangerzone. I had to really put in an effort not to close my eyes in the shower, thinking I might fall asleep standing. Me head was throbbing and my muscles were soar and stiff. I was starting to think that I’d have to go out for a walk, then I suddenly saw me as myself in this situation, not the confused person-personae I was in. I have since been thinking about all the experiences I’ve had the last 4 days….it’s unbelievable! The range of emotions I have felt has acted as some kind of opening into a world I haven’t been entering as much as I’ve been wanting the last couple of years.

I have had amazing dreams during these 4 days, I have actually been able to remember almost every single one of them…which compared to the amount I’ve remembered during my lucid dreaming project is so big of a step forward that it goes against all reasons not to continue doing it.

I have felt sleep deprivation for the first time, and because of it the naps I have been having today were “ohh so much sweeter” than previous ones. The thing is that I’ve fallen asleep fairly quickly, had dreams and woken up ( 3 times I have woken up before the alarm) without any hassle. I have been progressing on this schedule in ways I had only thought were possible for certain lucky individuals. Since the progress towards adaption has gone at such a quick pace, I can only imagine which insights and experiences continuing the schedule might bring.

I will not claim to have adapted fully yet, but I do believe I’ve had progress…having kept some records of my naps I have seen how the success rate has grown during the last few days. On the first day I had 3/6 naps where I had problems falling asleep…not being able to tell if I’d slept at all. On my second day this was reduced to 2/6 , while also having my first poly-scheduled dream. On my third day the uncertain sleeps were down to 1/6….finally having had all my naps for day 4 I am proud to say that I’ve had none of these today, having had dreams in almost every one of my naps. What lacks is a stabilised result of rest, still having naps from which I wake up and feel unrested. I suspect it might have something to do with the length of my naps, but this is something I won’t try to change until I am on my way into week 2 or 3.

I am insanely motivated to continue this fantastic journey, not because of it being a certain means to some end, but because it is the schedule in itself that is the ends I am trying to reach. The journey is so rewarding that the extra time I get to use on my other projects (ones which have helped greatly in preparing me for this one) and my studies comes only as a bonus.

Having read Puredoxyk’s Ubersleep and several accounts of other people’s lives on the polyphasic wagon, I will try to make further progress in this rewarding project in hopes of seeing and experiencing some of the great things myself.

A little breather

I am currently much better than I was before when I wrote the previous post. This is something I would like to point out, that post was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do for this blog…I spent 15 minutes just trying to rabble the things down…then as I was trying to read the stuff I had “written”, I realised that most of it came out as jibberish. At this point the brainfog was so thick that I couldn’t keep reading more than one sentence per minute….I’ve never had such an experience, and I must say that I am quite impressed by the brains ability to fight back, mostly because this is  something we often aren’t aware of the brain being capable of. I used to think that we have control over these things, I managed not falling asleep though, but it has made me think about how we as a consciousness coexist with the brain and the rest of the human body.

If one makes a little sketch of this relationship we are obviously the servant…the consciousness is the thing that must be active and working in order for the brain to give orders concerning its and the body’s needs. In return we are allowed to hang out and grow within a consciousness-society which treats the human body as a machine.

Not that this has been a post that has contributed on any level with any kind of new idea or anything like that. But if it at least was a bit amusing I think I’ve achieved something.

I am having a wonderful experience adapting to the Uberman schedule. I really must say that every new challenge that comes up always ends up having a slightly surprising result where I feel like a little kid again, exciting and at the same time self-confronting in ways where one has to be honest with oneself…sounds weird, but it has been one of the motivations for going through with it.

I am planning to take the Uberman schedule as far as I can and hopefully make it part of my life, atleast throughout this semester.

The first post..bringing you up to speed

The last few months have been amazing, so much had changed in my day-to-day life that for a while I was having a hard time telling left from right. (Moving to a new country, my student loan being delayed etc.)

What eventually got me back on track was my Moral Philosophy Lectures, I started thinking again.

Not wanting to bore you or me; here’s the short version of the story:

Spent a couple of weeks feeling way out of sync with what was going on, went to an “Animal Rights” lecture, ended up wandering aimlessly for a couple of hours after the lecture, and by the time I got back to my flat I had decided to try to become a vegetarian.

That was about 2 weeks ago, so this is in a way a documentation of my journey to fulfill my own goals to become a better person,

Last weekend I spent alot of time researching polyphasic sleep, reading many different bloggers attempts to adapt to the “Ubermann” pattern, (sleeping/napping 20 minutes- 6 times a day). Eventually I ended up at Steven Pavlina’s blog from when he successfully attempted “The Ubermann Schedule”. I was really impressed by his detailed diary, and as a result I enjoyed several hours of reading all the other articles on his site.

That has led me to where I am now; currently I am enthusiastically trying to become a vegetarian, trying to be an early riser (5.00 am), becoming more structured, doing what I can to play with my creativity (hence the blog) and trying to become more conscious about who I am (who I want to be).

This seems like a lot to take on at once (at least it does for me), but as I start implementing these into my life I feel as I’ve barely scratched the surface of what lies ahead…these personal experiences are what I want to write about.

(I will be attempting Ubermanns at the start of next semester!)

A Starting Note..

Happy Tuesday =P

I’ve been doing some of these experiments for a couple of weeks now, and as I progress into a new week I am starting to feel the benefits and some temporary downsides to one or more of my projects (might be the combination).

Today I thought that I would make a short introduction of what I’ve been doing so far.

Vegetarianism

I’m well on my way into week 2, and I’m not having any particular problems with excluding meat from my diet. I should mention that I have chosen to go on a Lacto-ovo-vegetarian diet…so I am still drinking milk and eating eggs.

I would have thought that I’d have some stronger cravings for meat-products, but as of yet I simply haven’t…it might be because I’m not focusing on the fact of what I can’t eat, but rather on what I can eat .

I’ve been trying out different kinds of dishes, most of them just off the top of my head. This has resulted in several interesting misshaps, which seemed like good ideas at the time (I have a tendency to add WAY too much garlic whenever I improvise!), but resulted in people avoiding sitting next to me the following day.

There are still many different things I want to try eating (like tofu, different kinds of soups, some new ideas for salads and maybe even a tasty stew), and as I continue exploring new dishes and snacks I’ll make sure to upload some photos (if they turn out looking appetizing that is….).

(By the way, I’d appreciate any tips on different kinds of recipes! I’d be fun trying other people’s favourite recipes.)

Caffeine addiction

For over a year now I’ve been on a “5-10 cups a day” coffee-spree. I started my mass consumption out of boredom, and as a result I’ve been relying on coffee to keep me on a day-long high, starting with a cup or two at breakfast. Not only has it been affecting my nerves and emotions, but another unfortunate consequence is discoloured teeth….and no one wants that! (Apparently it makes your breath stink as well)

Now that I’ve stopped drinking coffee I find that I’m able to “lower my shoulders”, actually being able to relax without a cup in my hand, and take a little more notice of the things that are going on inside my mind and body.

My attempt at becoming a early riser

I started this Monday (yesterday), so I suppose that would make today day 2. This morning I got up at 5.00 am , and got the opportunity to see the sunrise for the first time in many years, I had been thinking about doing something similar to this for a while, not wanting to go to an extreme I was thinking about consequently starting my day at 8.00 am. However, last weekend I spent a lot time reading many of the posts over at Steve Palvina’s Self Development Site, and one of them was about waking up early.

It turned out that this was just the push I needed to undertake another project, this one actually making me aware of the path I had started on…it made me conscious to the fact that I actually can make an effort to change my habits for the better, in turn making me a better person (took a deep plunge into virtue ethics as I formulated that sentence, which really wasn’t something I was intending to do ;D).

Back to the point, I’ve enjoyed the extra productive hours I get in the morning, and the fact that I’m actually really tired when nighttime comes around. I wouldn’t mind making this a permanent change, because in many ways it feels as if I’m getting a head-start before everyone else.

The amusing conclusion

Overall I’ve been feeling a lot more stable (emotionally and energy-wise), and there are certainly some positive experiences that I’ve been having the last couple of days, many of which I think are directly linked to my “projects”. Unfortunately I can’t tell if it’s the Vegetarian diet or me coming off of my caffeine addiction that are causing it. Whatever it is, I’m sticking to it.

Go figure, the week after I drop caffeine I decide to start getting up at 5.00 in the morning! Now that’s ironic, wouldn’t you say, Alanis?

The Scary Part of Bringing about Change

I’ve been doing some thinking about how to make this Blog a worthwhile read…

At first this Blog idea started out as one of my “projects”, originally intending to write a diary, it slowly started making sense to upgrade the idea and make it “public”. The next month I will be writing as a conscious attempt at improving my creativity and writing skills. I’d imagine that even small amounts of writing, in the semi-personal way that I am doing now, will make a major difference in the long run. Therefore I am confident that the blog in itself will contribute to my development. ( not to mention that I”m documenting my own efforts for the future)

One of the other `pro’s of writing this blog is that it keeps me motivated to continue my other current experiments, and that in itself makes it worth it. But as the number of my posts grow, I am hoping that a few people might drop by and be a little inspired and motivated in taking on their own development in a proactive way.

However, since I’m already writing about the subject, I must say that revealing parts of my private life is really scary…and I am currently having a hard time filtering my thoughts into material that I think won’t be too personal. Mastering the fear and writing openly and honestly might actually be what I’m finding most difficult about it.

Anyhow, my personal paranoia aside xD, I have decided to invest some time in looking at my own way of going about accomplishing goals, but as of now I am running late for a social arrangement, so I’ll have to come back to it tomorrow.

Catch you on the flip side!

New Day

I’m too late to make the daily post…but I think this counts as yesterday…Tomorrow never came!

*It’ll be a short post today*

I had a hard time getting up yesterday/today…..looking at how long it actually took me to get going from when I woke up, I’m actually happy about the fact that I managed to will myself to get out of bed. The day when I wake up before my alarm, will be the day I give myself a pat on the back…until then I’ll just have to make it happen…

I think the point about this is that when I make something happen for me, I get the the most out of it when it finally happens. If it was just thrown in my lap, I wouldn’t be able to tell if it was the thing I had been looking for, and it certainly wouldn’t mean as much to me as if I had pursued my goals on my own terms, gaining more experience as I went along.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that `the journey in itself is half of the achievement’, without it the value and overall point of the result wouldn’t be the same.

Some journeys are meant to last a lifetime, setting new destinations as you go along..

When, Oh when will I learn!?

Today I had a platefull of vegetables with some salsa on the side, I think it’s the best meal i’ve had in months!

This surpasses everything I had thought about going vegetarian, in the last few days I’ve been noticing an increase in flavour from everything I eat. I find it very strange to feel my mouth watering when I think about cauliflowers, broccoli, carrots…ohh and all the different kinds of fruit…I set out to do a vegetarian diet, but it seems that I’m gradually slipping towards raw-food! (I’m like a wee child whenever I go shopping for F&V, “OH! What’s that? I never had that before, or that! I’ll have to try some of these”) Life’s simple pleasures!)

I’m finding this very amusing; having such a dramatic change in my desires for certain types of foods….it feels as if my taste buds are having different reactions to foods that used to taste the way they “should” taste, apparently the way they really taste was something outside my “width of perception”.

I’m feeling knackered, I’ve got to learn to get to bed when I get sleepy…I have a bad habit of judging the lateness of the hours based on my previous sleeping schedule…now that I’m getting up at 5.00 am, 1 o’clock is several hours past my bedtime…I’ll have to make sure to exhaust myself so that I collapse into bed at 9.00pm

Godnight world…

Going Strong and Moving On!

As I am starting to become used to the changes that have been taking place the last couple of weeks, I find it reasonable that I should start looking at some new ways to improve myself. Set up some new goals to make a part of my daily routine. I’ve been thinking about the next step towards raising my consciousness, and I have concluded that I should take a step towards a little more non material way. This will be about getting into new habits, ones that I haven’t had any previous experience (not any worthwhile of telling about anyway) in; Meditation and Lucid Dreaming.

These things have interested me for as long as I can remember, since I was little I can remember once or twice being able to make things happen in my dreams; once I willed a sword to appear so that I could kill the snake that was lurking around outside my house.

I should probably explain a little more about what I’m talking about. I’ll take the liberty to make a direct quote “Lucid dreaming is simply dreaming while being aware you are dreaming. You can think of lucid dreaming as being conscious while dreaming. If, by chance, during a dream it suddenly dawns on you that you are dreaming, then you have experienced a lucid dream, regardless of whether you have been able to attain control of your dream.” – http://www.dreamviews.com/whatislucid.php

So to start off I’ll be trying to remember my dreams. I’ve been reading a lot of different blogs and sites on LD, and it seems that keeping a dream journal is the best way of learning youself to remember dreams, so this will be a new addition to my daily wakeup routine..

I have only made one entry until now, which was this morning, it looked something like this: “I am fairly certain that I had a dream, and if I remember correctly it was all about a fog…haze…”

So as you see, I’ve got a lot of room for improvement….so if any of you who read this have any tips for remembering dreams, please leave a comment…I’d appreciate it.

As for meditation, I don’t have any clear information to go on at this moment, but I’ll do some research and start trying some meditations.

First Week Aniversery

As the title says, it’s a week since I started this blog. I must say, the first week has gone by at an alarming pace…it seems that I have been writing one post per day, this might be a activity level that I’ll get a problem maintaining. Mainly because I’m not experiencing that many changes from day to day.

The projects that I am currently working on are ones which will benefit me in the long run, so a week won’t give much time to feel and see the changes that occur. Often I won’t notice them until a couple of weeks have passed.

Here’s how I’m doing on the different undertakings:

Vegetarian Diet

I am now two days into my third week as a vegetarian, and I must say that I am finding new ways of enjoying the diet every one or two days. This weekend I had my first stir-fry with rice….and of course a dash or two of soy sauce. The previous week I ate a lot of raw vegetables and fruit. I haven’t really been doing any real cooking, so this will probably be a thing to focus on as the weeks go on.

There are some things I have never tasted, like sweet potato…so I think I’ll have to muster the courage to go out and buy some, and try to make some kind of meal out of it.

Caffeine

Not really something I will be writing any more about, this turned out to be a easy habit to drop…and not really something I miss. There are some times I really feel like having something warm to drink, so to be on the safe side I should probably buy some herbal tea.

Early Riser

Now this is turning out to be a hellish thing, I am still having trouble going to bed at the right time…and as a result I wake up as a Zombie…having to fight my way out of the grave! I am just about to go to bed as I write this and I am hoping that tonight will bring some progress on my Lucid Dream project…

If I have a dream worth mentioning it’ll end up here!

G’night!

Calm, Happy and at Peace

Today turned out to be a rather hard day; in the way that I was somewhat an emotional roller coaster.

When I woke up this morning I had a feeling that something wasn’t quite right. As the minutes ticked by it started to dawn on me that I was experiencing something that I can only describe as angst, maybe even panic. I have been introduced to a couple of new stress factors the last few days, all of them originating from new courses, changes in topics and a intimidating workload. It might be that I’m starting to go into a period of some depression (I have been through a couple the last 3-4 years), or that it is just a natural response to the circumstances that I am subjecting myself to.

The last 2 hours before my first lecture were filled with the growing terror of leaving my flat, I just didn’t “feel” like subjecting myself to any more stress, feeling like there was a kind of hopelesness to my situation, that I probably would snap at any moment. When it was down to a half hour left until I had to go, I decided to try some meditation techniques that I had been reading about and made some attempts at the weekend before. After what seemed like an hour (turned out to be only 20 minutes), I was feeling a lot better, and I was actually feeling that I was getting some clarity over the situation. (The method is to keep repeating a kind of mantra, focusing on the words and the meaning…concentrating on calming and silencing the mind)

As I walked to my lecture I kept repeating to myself the mantra;  “I am calm, happy and at peace“…

What started out as an chaotic morning became one of insight, I clearly have some issues that I have to work out, concerning my studies and my obsession over academic performance (which has followed me since I was in my early teens).If I am to grow these things will limit my development in other aspects of my life, since they will be controlled by the same tendencies.

This has convinced me that meditation is something I should take a deeper interest in (it’s clearly worth looking into if it can help in situations as the one of today), and that I still have deeper emotional in-balances to take care of before I can start making any progress towards a higher level of consciousness. I do however think that these are all interwoven together, and that all the small changes that I can make in my life will be a part of the big changes that I am hoping to achieve.

I will try to find a clearer explination to the meditations that I’m trying…but as with everything worth doing, progress takes time and commitment!

Meditation Temptation

After spending some time online reading others’ different methods and thoughts on meditation, I decided that I wanted to try one of them, I chose this one.

I turned off my computer and sat down on a carpet and started going through what I could remember of the steps that were mentioned.

I made it through the initial steps and felt that it became a little easier to concentrate as I gradually calmed my mind. During this part I was very focused on my breathing, for some reason I stopped thinking consciously about it after a while, as I started shifting my priorities to forcing my mind to stay silent, I unconciously began holding my breath on every exhale….the first couple of times I did this I wasn’t aware that I was doing it.

What’s really interesting was that I suddenly started having films showing inside my head, they were so clear that I became completely focused on them instead of what was happening around and with my physical body. As I said, it took a while for me to understand what was happening and to connect the dots between my breathing pattern and how/when I saw these things.

I experienced some time dialation, or atleast I think I did….because even though it felt like 10 minutes there seemed to have been at least 10 more that are somehow “gone”, after finishing the meditation I felt a bit drained, but otherwise I did seem a lot more relaxed and at ease then before I started.

It was a very powerful first time experience and I am really excited about making meditation a part of my daily routine.  One thing’s for sure, this won’t be the last post I’ll write about meditation!

(If I get some better “reception” on my minds eye TV I’ll write about it the next time I do one on Meditation.

Dream a Little Dream for Me!

I have been having a hard time remembering anything from my dreams for the last couple of days. It seems like they are lingering around just too far out in my peripheral vision for me to see. I see nuances but I can’t make any sense of the “shape or feel” of them.

This seems to have something to do with the amount of sleep I am getting; Since I started the Lucid Dream project at the same time as I started getting up at 5.00 I think that I maybe got some “unstable” results the first part of last week. I have a fairly accurate sense of how my sleeping pattern has been changing and a little insight into the way it affected my dreams.

When I was getting “less” sleep than I needed (not really so, it just felt like it since I was getting up so much earlier than I used to), I had very strong memories of my dreams almost every time I woke up. Gradually as I became acclimatized to the new schedule my dreams became more like how they were before, almost nonexistent. This could be because I am no longer in mid-REM sleep when I wake up, yet judging the way I feel when I wake up, (awake and refreshed), I do think that I am somewhere in between phases or maybe in a lighter state of sleep (definitely not in deep sleep, because if someone disturbs me in deep sleep I feel like a popped balloon (picking myself off of the floor =P)

This would explain why I’m not able to recollect my dreams and my level of alertness when I wake up. I have read some forum posts from other people’s experiences with lucid dreaming, and I think I’ve found something that I’m going to try tomorrow (or today…or will it actually be tomorrow? I guess I’m doing the preparations for it today, but I will be doing it tomorrow…riiiiiiight, anyhow;

Strategy for tonight

I will set my alarm to go off at 4.15 am, when that time comes around I’ll go for a walk around in the flat, go back to bed and then sleep until 5.00

What theoretically will happen is that I will be up long enough for the conscious part of my brain to find it’s bearings, but not long enough to fully awaken…so when I go back to sleep my consciousness will have a easier time identifying the fact that I/it, or he….I think I’ll call it a he from now on =D, is actually dreaming. That way it should be easier to become lucid and to remember my dream afterwards.

I’m not sure whether or not it’ll work, so I won’t get my hopes up, but if it does work…this’ll be the first place I’ll post the update XD

Passive Income

Making Money Without Selling Your Life

I’ve been reading about people making small (sometimes even large) sums of money on the side of their regular job, what is most commonly called a passive income. Some of these are actually able to quit their daytime jobs after a while, just because of their passive income source.

If you manage to establish a alternate passive income source you will be earning money while you sleep, eat, study, work out, drive your kids to school e.t.c. and this way you are guaranteed to keep your “job” whatever happens in life (lets take the current finacial crisis as an example, or a young woman losing her job because she got pregnant) what it usually comes down to is making a “one time effort” to build on an idea that will serve a useful purpose for other people. What it comes down to is exchanging values; you make or give a value to other people and they give you money in return.

The beauty of this is that you are actually earning a honest “buck” without having to put an daily effort into it.

Different Ways to Set up an Income

Many websites can be a source of passive incomes; blogs, companies’ website,personal sites, entertainment and so on. The way this is done is through advertising, affiliates, licensing, reviewing, and the list goes on. This is often depending on a lot of traffic, but that’s a whole different topic (you could hope for a “If you build it, they will come” occurrence, but I wouldn’t be to trusting of this idea.

Another way is to come up with a product or patent that people will pay licensing fees for. Or you could rent out property, sell merchandise or maybe even write a book.

Me, how am I going about this?

I am aware of the fact that to make this possible you must have something of value that others are willing to spend time and/or money on. At the young age of 20 I do not currently have any ability, knowledge or competence to give value to other people, but I will be doing some brainstorming on how to make this possible.

This is a long term project; I am going to come up with a way to make a passive income, doesn’t matter if it’s only a 1£ per month, and to  further develop myself to find a competence or talent that I can market.

This is something that probably will take years, but once one source of income has been developed, I can try to make it better and broader to increase the outcome.

It may sound ambitious ,but my goal will be that one day I won’t have to depend on a regular job to make all the money I need.

Time Management

Time management, not really my strong side. I have a horrible habit of pushing off important stuff for later, having to pick up the slack the last week or day before it is due. This is painfully obvious in the situation I am in at the moment.

During this first semester I have been preparing for my lectures and tutorials while at the same time having a comfortable amount of time to spend on my personal interest and hobbies. This turns out to have been an unbalanced schedule, and as a result I am currently preparing for a presentation for tomorrow and two essays due next week. This is gonna be a week of all work and no “play”. It will probably make me a dull boy. xD

This would’ve been a lot easier task if I’d ever written an essay before, but since I come from a different school system I have never written an essay of the kind that we’re expected to write here in the UK. These kind of assessments are not ones I am familiar with, and as a logical consequence I am expecting to do quite poorly, which isn’t really helping my motivating.

After reviewing my situation I am willing to accept that this is quite the character flaw, and if there’s something I should make a project of, this is probably what would give me the best direct benefits in my daily life.

I will have to invest some time to figure out how to ween myself off of the habit of postponing. I’m happy to say that I have plenty of early morning hours that I can do some of my work in, since time is something of which I can’t get enough of at the moment.

Dreaming, an Update!

How is it going?

This far I’d have to say that I am progressing! I have actually started remembering a lot more of my dreams than before. There are many nights when I wake up in the middle of the night clearly remembering my dreams, but unfortunatly I haven’t been writing these down. I should start having a notepad next to my bed.

What am I doing?

My approach to this was to learn how to have lucid dreams. So after reading different peoples experiences with LD I decided that I’d start with learning to remember my dreams, and this is what I’ve been doing for the last week or two.

How?

Before I go to sleep I repeat the sentence “I would like to remember my dreams when I wake up”, then I imagine myself waking up, remembering a dream, getting up and writing it down. Then I repeat this over and over again. It seems to be working, so I’ll be sticking to this until I find a more effective way.

Have I had any lucid dreams yet?

Not in the sense that I’ve actually been able to control my dreams, but I have been aware of the fact that I’m dreaming. I did however have one dream when I started to get control, but then I got excited and woke myself up.

I’ll continue with learning the basics, aka remembering, and I won’t stress trying to become lucid. Everything will eventually fall into place.

A teeny-weeny Hello!

I just thought that I’d check in and do a little status report on the different things I’m doing.

Vegetarian

It’s going great! I’ve been a vegetarian for about a month, and I am just now starting to experiment a little more with different kinds of dishes and vegetables; this weeks favourite has been spinach! I never knew that there were so many different things you could make with spinach. I haven’t really been doing any over the edge gourme cooking, but I have been cooking. I seem to have a very bad habit of using way to much garlic though, today I actually felt it burn in my stomach a little while after I had eaten.  Looking forward to learning some new recipes to bring home and make for my family during the Christmas holidays.

Dreaming

I’m actually getting better at remembering my dreams. Last night I was even able to control one of them. I decided to do some downhill skiing,  after a while I lost control and ended up dreaming that I was in a commercial. It was quite weird how I went from going down a mountain and ended up right next to my house, which was frozen and looked like a icicle,  it thawed out and there suddenly was a jingle and a voice that went off right next to my ear!

I am still learning to remember my dreams though, so Lucid Dreaming is still a bit out of reach.

Time Management

It’s been going a little slower than I was hoping, but I have finally started writing on my actual essay. I figure I will finish the Philosophy one first, and then move on to do the politics essay. I might start writing more essays after I am done with these, I clearly need to practice if I’m ever going to get any better!

Rise and shine

It’s half past 5 and I have nothing better to do! That’s my excuse for posting right now, actually I don’t need an excuse to post, but I thought I’d point out that I am still getting up at 5. There’s not much more to tell about that project, I do sleep in on Sundays ,but I am still waking up before my alarm!

I’ve been quite busy this weekend, and that’s why there’s been no new post the last couple of days. I am afraid the madness will go on this week as well, but after that I will only have to do the regular uni stuff. At least next semester I know that I’ll start doing my assessments in advance.

Right now I am enjoying a nice cup of tea, I actually feel increasingly british each passing day as I drink several cups of warmish delight while watching the the rain pour down and the leaves falling…. leaving the skeletons of what used to be green friendly faces.

Once Again, A Short One

I am still really swamped, but it’s the last part of the essay marathon, and I’m about to start sprinting. I am taking a break in my essay writing to write this. I’ve been really frustrated about not having time to write any updates…it’s been 4 or 5 days since I last posted. That’s just way too long.

As I mentioned before I decided to change my work habits…I wouldn’t say that I’ve succeeded yet, because this feels temporary and I know I won’t be able to keep it up. Instead I now begin to see how I can improve…for my next assessment I’ll try to start preparing at least a month before…so that I can focus my energy writing instead of researching and writing at the same time.

One things for sure, I should be way more stressed than I actually am…I have moments when I see the situation in another perspective, and that’s when I get stressed. When I focus on my own perception and try to put it into the real context, I can’t help but to be amused of how sickly I need this kind of approval to tell me that I am “worth” anything. That’s ridiculous! The outcome of all this will have some effect on my life, but it can’t change the reality of my life….the things that are really important have nothing to do with CAS results.

In 20 years time, if I look back at my life and think of good grades as the highlight of my life, I do not think that I have actually live or learned anything. It’s our experiences that make us into who we are, not our grades. Knowledge and Wisdom are two very different things.

Two Days Left

Tomorrow I’m going to reap the benefits of getting up at  5.00 . I’ll put the extra hours to good use, making the last push towards the finish-line. I have been having a little problem with a lack of sleep the last days, so I’ve been taking some naps…makes me eager to try the Ubermann Schedule….

Taking a breather..

I finished my last essay yesterday, now after handing it in I feel quite worried. It’s my first essay and for the first time in my entire life I will be judged by the same English standard that everyone else around me is held to. I can’t drop the feeling of not acctually accomplishing anything with the points I made for either one of them, and I will be so relieved if I pass…

Anyhow, I took a ride on the wild side and consumed alcohol for the first time in almost a month…it’s nothing special going that amounth of time without drinking, but considering the situation of University life, I think it is quite the feat.

My projects have been on the passive side lately…but that had everything to do with my busy work schedule. So now that I am again back to normal work loads, I will be getting a bit more creative in my cooking and I’ll start thinking up new projects.

Keeping up with the diary and dream journal is actually proving to be hard. I will often wake up in the middle of the night remembering a dream, but I haven’t gotten around to getting something to write them down on. If don’t write my diary in the morning I will often forget it before going to bed.

I think I’m going to set up a set schedule of what to do when and when to do what. I tried it during last week, and it works like a charm. It was probably that which helped me put in the last grueling days of work. It also helped a lot getting up at 5.00, it’s a good way of squeezing 11 hours of work out of a day where you still have to go to tutorials and lectures. I don’t know if i want to live my life this way, but I’ll surely put it to use in high stress situations.

Yet again a small update..

I have been giving quite a lot of these lately; not real posts but more like a explanation to why there haven’t been any “real” posts lately. This is unfortunate of course, but I suppose it is the result of this week being a little outside the ordinary.

In other words, I’ve been busy. I have not been planing to introduce any of the persons that surround me daily, both of respect towards these peoples privacy and that I think it is a little off topic…After all, this is not a place where I come to vent, rather a place to focus my intentions and development.

That being said. I did have a visitor this week, and it has kind of brought me out of my daily rutine; meaning not as many diary “posts”, not getting to write down all of my dreams and not getting up at 5. I have done all of these activities, but not at the normal level. I have however had a new experience concerning cooking, being that there’s suddenly another person to think of when making dinner. It has resulted in some varieties that I haven’t tried before and that’s all really something I’m not used to.

Christmas is coming up, presents, decorations, social gatherings with and without alcohol and the traditional meaty Christmas cuisine. This will definitely be a holiday of temptation. I really don’t want to go back a step from where I’ve gotten to, so this means no meat. The most unfortunate thing is that I suspect that it won’t be accepted or taken lightly by the surrounding people. I have a feeling that many might feel as I’m taking a stab at them or their values, giving them a reason to go with the aggressive approach to respond to a accusation or intrusion that has never even been made.

A lot of this is out of my control, but as long as I keep up my end of the agreement I am certain that no sceptiscism will bring about any unbalance. These are not my doing and I can therefor not be held to any of the claims fabricated out of misunderstanding, stress, frustration and defensiveness.

I will try to make another post in a few days time. It’s important to me that I give an insight into the changes occurring. I will only ever write sincere posts, a promise made to everyone and something which I will make this something to look back on with pride.

Stepping back and seeing the full picture

Today

I am writing now in the first time for several days. Last week was a vacuum; time, effort and thought sucked right into a vortex of nothingness. I don’t actually know what I’ve been doing. I have however reach a point where I can draw a set of conclusions, some share worthy and others not so.

First of all I just want to say that this isn’t me saying that I won’t continue with my projects or with my writing. Far from it! I will be continuing with all of the projects I have going on at the moment, and I will probably find some new ones to invest some effort into. However, I am starting to get to know myself and I am finding it hard to keep a consistent pace while doing anything at all. This week has been kind of like that.

The projects; status report…

I mentioned that my early riser project was kind of put on hold for about a week…I’ve been having some difficulties getting back into it. Part of the problem is that for the last week I’ve stayed up until way past my bedtime, some days as late as 4.00 am. This ruins my schedule, but still I’ve been getting only 5 hours of sleep.

I’m still going strong on my vegetarian diet. Not really much to mention, unless you want to hear about my recent discovery of beans…Chilly Beans, baked beans, butter beans, mixed beans, magic beans…you name it. I don’t know why I’ve been eating so much beans…ohhh and chopped tomatoes! Anyhow, I am going home for Christmas on Tuesday and I am certain that going back home will be a wee challenge when it comes to the veggie part. I’m not one to judge “my own people”, but I doubt there will be much understanding from anyone.

Meditation has kind of slipped off of my schedule the last week, it’s not that long since I started trying to put it into my daily routine but it’s proving to be quite hard to stick to it. I won’t quit, I will try to gradually get it under my skin….What I’d really like to do is to get to know someone who’s familiar with it. I’ve been thinking about finding somewhere in the city where I could find some like-minded people. It is kind of hard to keep things going when you’re going at it alone.

The dream journal has been hard to maintain, I have messed up my sleep schedule so as a result my dreams are almost nonexistent, I might be having dreams but I’m not remembering any.

I’ll try to keep my posts on a regular schedule throughout the holidays! Next time I write I’ll be home in Norway! Adios…

I’ve got a fever!!

Not really, I just really liked the way that sounded. It’s strange this human psyche, I am looking forward to returning home for the holidays, seeing friends and family. However, I have a big gnarly feeling in my stomach over the actual trip back home. It feels like a mountain magically apearing infront of my plane. Getting to the airport on time, checking in-checking out-checking in again…it’s scary. Considering that my flights are scheduled in such a manner that if I am 10 minutes late I will miss check-in! It is not an ideal situation to find oneself in when your traveling within a area with unpredictable weather. I guess I’ll just have to find out the hard way….

Time to shed some more light on some other stuff I’ve been thinking about…

Time

What is it about this thing that we call time? Why are everyone so obsessed about the way they spend their time? Why are everyone trying to make the most out of the time they’ve got yet still fail to get anything done? This is turning out to be a load of questions going unanswered.You’d think that they were rhetorical, right? No, man! I haven’t got a clue to why we are so scared of time, especially the passage of it. Days, months and years pass by and we get older. This is a fact we can’t fight, so we try to cram as much of the important stuff into each day…well, at least some of us do. I find myself doing the opposite, I am spending my days doing nothing. Nothing important, nothing of any substantial meaning or value. Since I am the one writing I will take the liberty to assume that this is the reality of most peoples lives. We sit around watching TV, discussing what we saw on TV, who we’d want to be on tv, what we’d like to buy….maybe a new TV with a new surround-sound speaker system. I fail to see how this is living, yet I am doing the same thing myself. I feel like the flavouring added to a bucket of dirty wash water. A firefly in a bright-lit room. Having a purpose but being in the wrong place to make a difference. I guess that might be why I am doing the things that I do. I am searching for a way to make a difference.

Passage of time…time is wasted, time is money, money is wasted…please, could someone remind me why we should care? Sell your body to the night! It can’t be half as bad as renting it out during the day. I had a dream a couple of nights ago. I was living down on a beach, licking sun and living a carefree day to day life. A life where no pressure was put on my shoulders, I was truly finding myself. I spent my days fishing and meditating, going into the nearby jungle to gather fruit, drinking from coconuts and laying lazily in the bungalow when the sun became too friendly. I would dance around the fire as it gradually got darker and the animals in the jungle started their nightly conversations . Finally I’d collapse next to the fire, taking my time in cooking the fish I caught earlier. I would tell stories to myself and the darkness, light laughter ringing aloud on the beach. As I declared my graditude to existance I wandered down to the sea. Looking up at the moon and the stars soaking them in my admiration. While looking up at the stars I’d fall asleep and dream about animals and waves. The next morning I’d wake up as the sun was rising, feeling the day start anew.

This is now something I will keep in mind as I continue the life of commitment. In my dream the feeling of happiness came from a simple life, a life of freedom and no choice. I did, I did not choose to do, I just did. This is something that’s just as true in the real world. Things you do can never be taken back, there’s no changing the past. Past, Future, Present…it’s really just a part of the same thing…so when you decide your path for the future your choice is the only one you get to make, so you better make it count for something. Let’s all hope we make the right choice…

Peace and love, Ola.

Home in time

A couple of days have passed since I came home to this place so often called home. It’s a snowy mountainous area in the middle of Norway…

Yesterday went by taking in the old sights aswell as getting to know the newest addition to the family; we’ve got a puppy! She’s a pure-breed Jamthund, the cutest little thing I’ve seen in a long time. I’ve been thinking about the last time we had a puppy around, and all I can say is that it’s been way too long. It’s fun bonding with a new individual, especially such a young one. She’s headstrong and curious about everything around her. It shows that she values the other members of the pack, even its newest addition, me…

Since it’s been a eventful couple of days I haven’t really been doing much out of my meditation and writing much in my diary. I am planning to get some more writing done in the coming days though. I have thought about doing some writing on the things I spend my time engaged thinking about. Right now it’s quite late, so I’ll leave it for later to do some more soulsearching

XOXO      Ola

The Return of the Jeedaay

Harhar! I have returned!! I know that I’ve been gone for way too long. I haven’t posted a single post in over a month I think. But now that I am finished with my exams I will be getting back to make some more regular updates. Now then, as things are getting back to normal, I am going to make an effort to mess things up…after seeing that my lecture/tutorial schedule works poorly with a Ubermann sleeping pattern I am going to go ahead and try anyway =D I’ll have to take my Monday and Tuesday morning naps a wee fraction of an hour earlier…I hope this won’t turn out to be too much of a problem.

For those reading that are unaware of what I am talking about, it’s basicly the idea that you change the way your brain handles sleeping and energy preservation by doing a sort of “reboot”. There are different kinds of polyphasic sleep schedules, the most popular ones are Uberman and Everyman. Now first off, polyphasic sleep is just a different way of saying that you sleep several times a day. The traditional type being monophasic which most of us know as ” a good nights sleep”. The one I’m going for is Ubermann, having 6×20 minute naps. Effectivly giving yourself 22 hours of awake time each day.

Anyways, since this is the first time I’m attempting something like this…I’m going to be realistic, chances are slim that I’m even going to last as much as two weeks. I am taking this first time as a sort of test drive, get a feel for how my body and brain will suffer and try to adapt. I’ve heard that it’s never quite the same no matter how many times you try to adapt, but as I am going into it I am trying to set myself some goals.

- If my adaption goes by without oversleeping or any disturbing psychological/physical effects, and I actually pull off juggling this scheme with my studies, I will continue as long as I can

I am going to have my first “waypoint” at one week, then one at two weeks, one at the 1 month mark….and from there I’ll just have to see….

My main concerns for what may go wrong will absolutely be oversleeping and running out of things to do. I am not yet into the second semester, so I’ll have about 2 weeks without any proper coursework…I will therefore try to find some temporary projects to “work” on.

I have been trying to prepare for this for the last couple of months, some things were not done in this intention, but it seems that it might help to make it easier in the transition period. The things I am referring to are projects such as the Early Riser one and the vegetarian project. I have also stopped drinking caffeine and I’ve tried to improve my dreaming. Actually the dreaming is a part of this project that I am looking forward to, strong lucid dreams and time dilation is fascinating and something I’d like to do some more research on…

Anyhow, my nap times will be at 2, 6 and 10. I am starting my naps at 25 minutes, and I’ll just have to see where I go from there. I’ll probably end up doing tons of updates around here, having nothing better to do.

It’s only the first one, man!

Yeah, I’m well on my way into the first day of the experiment. I have had three successful naps, falling asleep in a matter of minutes, and strangely waking just in time to get up as the alarm goes off 20 minutes later. It is still too early to notice any real sleep deprivation or any signs of a near impending breakdown. That’s not going to happen!….I hope.

Anyway, this first day has been mostly ok…but I am all ready starting to feel a certain brain-fog interfering with my ability to come up with words and putting them into sentences which actually have a meaning. If I have understood the others who’ve tried going polyphasic, then it’s only going to get a lot worse before it gets any better…

I am hoping to see improvements in week 2, but this first week I am all but trying to figure out how to keep busy with all the time I’ve got on my hands. I might pick up a Spanish-course, try to learn a new language…but knowing that this isn’t the best kind of activity to be doing when you’re sleep deprived, I will have to try to find some kind of practical/physical hobby or project. I’m just having a hellishly hard time coming up with anything. I guess I haven’t prepared as much as I should have for this part of the project.

I have considered taking up some of my writing, having done a bit of songwriting and poems since I was 16….haven’t really had time to put any initiative or effort into it the last year.

As I am writing this I know this wasn’t a very well written post, but until I am free of this mental fog this is the way my posts are going to be. As I continue with the experiment I will try to give some kind of description of some of the stuff I’ll have gone through.

Best of wishes goes out to all of you!

Still sitting in the saddle! Not even back in the saddle again, cuz I never left….

I’m into my second day and 7 cycles have passed since I started. I have been having trouble falling asleep for the last 3-4 naps…I’m guessing it is because I’m not used to taking naps, but atleast this means that I clearly haven’t become tired enough to “pass out” as fast as I lay down.

I have been getting some energy out of these non-sleep naps though, the one I had at 2 left me feeling refreshed and with enough energy to tidy up my room and rearrange the shelves. During this time I didn’t encounter any feelings of depletion or tiredness in any way.

I think most of this energy comes from the meals I have in the start of some of the cycles. After getting up from my 2 am nap had a cup of tea and a pear and an apple. Eating fruit in the start of the cycle seems to help keep my mood and motivation up.Iæm guessing it’s because they have a great deal of glucose, meaning I’ve been riding on sugarhighs….that’s never good. But it has been effective at keeping me alert and awake for the last 50 hours…

Earlier on I made a list of things I should try to get done before next week, without much difficulty I have just about finished the list, now I am yet again in the predicament of not really having anything in particular to do. I will have to try mastering some kind of newly aquired skill through getting a new hobby of some sort…having a hard time figuring out what this would be ….

I just had my 6 am nap and I must say that it was fantastic, I actually fell asleep within the first minutes of laying down…then before I knew it the alarms were going off. Now that I am going into the second day I am feeling way more tired then I was at any point yesterday, and I’m not expecting to feel any better before I reach the end of my first week…it’s going to be a rough couple of days before I’m even close to any sort of “clearing” where I can stop and catch my breath….

Best,

Ola

Some tinkering…

I’ve had a look at my timetable for the next semester, and if I am going to continue being a polyphaser I am going to have to do a slight change in my sleep pattern….I was originally going for: 2-6-10-14-18-22, but since I have a lecture at 10 on Mondays and Tuesdays I will have to do a wee change…I’m making the change starting from right now….and I’ll change it into: 2-6-9.15-14-18-22

Hopefully this won’t be too big of a gap between naps, I won’t know until I’ve actually tried it…and the only reason that I am actually doing the change is because there is no other option…Since it is during the bright and early part of the day I think it will help in making the extra time between naps bearable. I know this might upset my rhythm and make adaption harder, but as long as I am getting the right amount of sleep within the same time period I don’t think the longer cycle will do that much damage. Since all my other naps will be in the “right” time.

To make things clear, I will be adopting this early nap into my schedule to make it part of the routine…maybe then I won’t experience it as a “missed” or missplaced nap…

The end of day 2…..D&D International Politics!!

This day has been slightly more challenging than the first one. Still I am only on the second day, but I have started having peculiar things happen during my naps. Today I have had two incidents where it’ hard to tell if I actually fell asleep or if I was awake the whole time. What’s interesting is that this happens when I am feeling tired before I have my nap, that’s the only times I can’t seem to sleep, but considering that they’ve felt so short I am suspecting that I’ve blacked out somewhere in the middle, coming back to myself before the alarm goes off and being under the impression that I haven’t been sleeping.

What was a pleasant surprise was my first 9.15 nap….this oddity of a nap time is as I explained caused by inconsiderately set up timetable of my uni-courses. It gave me my first encounter with the vivid dreams often experienced by phasers. The dream was about me and hundreds of other students playing a game similar to some kind of D&D board game, but instead of anything remotely fantasy related we are all representing countries in a international political assembly. It was really freaky how easily everyone understood the rules and remembered insane facts about each-others country. Often using their knowledge to come to an joint agreement considering trading or other shared interests.

Anywhen! This has turned out to be a good day. I’ve had some signs of sleep deprivation up until now, but I am fairly certain that I haven’t felt anything yet compared to what’s coming in the challenge that lies ahead of me, getting through the first week….I’m running a non-tolerance policy against oversleeping and I will not let myself be conned by my brain into thinking I am going to have to sleep “mono” again at some point,” so you might just as well do it right NOW!!!” That stuff won’t work with me, I tell you. Did I mention that I am talking to myself all the time? …makes it seem less weird…

I have decided to follow Puredoxyk’s advice; I have written a list or two with stuff to keep me busy through the night. I have triple guarded myself with alarms and I have lots of fresh fruit and veg at my disposal. I will check back in after or before my 9.15 nap in tomorrow. I have a funny feeling that it’ll be an interesting night.

It turns out to be true..

…that my brain is trying to outsmart me. Just to confirm the fact that it did actually get harder after last night….two cycles ago I had to go out for a walk…I just didn’t trust my brain around chairs, tables or the bed. I tried many different things to hold me back from failure, but I think what got me through to my nap was willpower. I’ve been having difficulties remembering my dreams, but this time I had a long and clear one that took place at the uni…people didn’t understand english, they kept saying “In Norwegian, please” It was weird. Even weirder was that I woke up after 14 minutes….looking back I should probably have gotten up right about then…but nooo, I decided to sleep the 6 minutes i had left…and now I am feeling drowsy and all that…meaning I passed on into deep sleep…..not a part of the plan, but considering that it all was within 20 minutes…not too shabby!!

Aaaah yes, the big question, or problem if you will, is that every “hobby” or activity I have written down on my list is way to relaxing….not to mention that most of them have to take place in a chair…..so now I’m going to go get some breakfast, and then I’m going for a wee shopping trip…I’m going to embrace the artist within…by drawing with crayons and such…

Taking the sleepmonster by the horns

As the title says, I am ready to wrestle the shadow fiend that wants to bring me into its own personal lala-land. I am mentally prepared for a long night of keeping my head in the game. Since this morning I’ve had some trouble falling asleep during my naps…I’ve zoned out and been woken up by the alarm…but I doubt there has been much of any REM activity.I am currently on the third day, the one that is said to be the first of the days when sleep deprivation really kicks in.

I’ve been feeling a lot more tired today compared to how I was feeling yesterday. I haven’t been able to hit REM on more than 2/4 of the total number of naps. I often wake up thinking I am having trouble going to sleep…that after just having slept 20 minutes…but then again there are times when it feels like I’ve been sleeping for way longer…at least for a couple of hours…only to find that I’ve slept 20 minutes. It’s far from stable, but that is what I’m guessing will come in the next few days…

How am I doing sleep deprivation vise? Well, I am experiencing moments of fatigue, but nothing too serious yet. I have tried to do stretching and bending exercises at least two times a day…and whenever I do this I feel way better afterwards…I think it helps the circulation which again helps keep a constant temperature. I have suddenly become very sensitive to temperature change, especially the cold tile floor in our shower. There’s nothing like a piping hot shower at the start of the second cycle though…

There are other things I’ll be wanting to write about as well, but I’ll do that in another post since a severe case of brainfog just crept over me.

Day 4 and I think I’m sleep deprived..

It was this that I was expecting on day three….I am feeling like I’m fighting myself at every point in whatever I am doing, as soon as I stop to think to find something to say or if there’s a conclusion I should draw on my own in any way, my brain breaks in and tells me that this won’t be tolerated…”if you don’t get yourself in here right now I will drop you to your knees.”

Finally the physical pain has started as well; nausea, headache, feeling your eyes being forced down against your will….It is actually fascinating seeing how the brain goes frantic and starts throwing everything it’s got at you. If this lasts many days I’m going to be in a very foul mood come monday/tuesday. I’m hoping that it will ease down a little during the day…hopefully I’ll be realativly done with the BS I’m fighting today.

So in short: dry eyes, narcolepsia, moodswing and other things imagenable…just throw it in aswell…