Home in time

A couple of days have passed since I came home to this place so often called home. It’s a snowy mountainous area in the middle of Norway…

Yesterday went by taking in the old sights aswell as getting to know the newest addition to the family; we’ve got a puppy! She’s a pure-breed Jamthund, the cutest little thing I’ve seen in a long time. I’ve been thinking about the last time we had a puppy around, and all I can say is that it’s been way too long. It’s fun bonding with a new individual, especially such a young one. She’s headstrong and curious about everything around her. It shows that she values the other members of the pack, even its newest addition, me…

Since it’s been a eventful couple of days I haven’t really been doing much out of my meditation and writing much in my diary. I am planning to get some more writing done in the coming days though. I have thought about doing some writing on the things I spend my time engaged thinking about. Right now it’s quite late, so I’ll leave it for later to do some more soulsearching

XOXO      Ola

I’ve got a fever!!

Not really, I just really liked the way that sounded. It’s strange this human psyche, I am looking forward to returning home for the holidays, seeing friends and family. However, I have a big gnarly feeling in my stomach over the actual trip back home. It feels like a mountain magically apearing infront of my plane. Getting to the airport on time, checking in-checking out-checking in again…it’s scary. Considering that my flights are scheduled in such a manner that if I am 10 minutes late I will miss check-in! It is not an ideal situation to find oneself in when your traveling within a area with unpredictable weather. I guess I’ll just have to find out the hard way….

Time to shed some more light on some other stuff I’ve been thinking about…

Time

What is it about this thing that we call time? Why are everyone so obsessed about the way they spend their time? Why are everyone trying to make the most out of the time they’ve got yet still fail to get anything done? This is turning out to be a load of questions going unanswered.You’d think that they were rhetorical, right? No, man! I haven’t got a clue to why we are so scared of time, especially the passage of it. Days, months and years pass by and we get older. This is a fact we can’t fight, so we try to cram as much of the important stuff into each day…well, at least some of us do. I find myself doing the opposite, I am spending my days doing nothing. Nothing important, nothing of any substantial meaning or value. Since I am the one writing I will take the liberty to assume that this is the reality of most peoples lives. We sit around watching TV, discussing what we saw on TV, who we’d want to be on tv, what we’d like to buy….maybe a new TV with a new surround-sound speaker system. I fail to see how this is living, yet I am doing the same thing myself. I feel like the flavouring added to a bucket of dirty wash water. A firefly in a bright-lit room. Having a purpose but being in the wrong place to make a difference. I guess that might be why I am doing the things that I do. I am searching for a way to make a difference.

Passage of time…time is wasted, time is money, money is wasted…please, could someone remind me why we should care? Sell your body to the night! It can’t be half as bad as renting it out during the day. I had a dream a couple of nights ago. I was living down on a beach, licking sun and living a carefree day to day life. A life where no pressure was put on my shoulders, I was truly finding myself. I spent my days fishing and meditating, going into the nearby jungle to gather fruit, drinking from coconuts and laying lazily in the bungalow when the sun became too friendly. I would dance around the fire as it gradually got darker and the animals in the jungle started their nightly conversations . Finally I’d collapse next to the fire, taking my time in cooking the fish I caught earlier. I would tell stories to myself and the darkness, light laughter ringing aloud on the beach. As I declared my graditude to existance I wandered down to the sea. Looking up at the moon and the stars soaking them in my admiration. While looking up at the stars I’d fall asleep and dream about animals and waves. The next morning I’d wake up as the sun was rising, feeling the day start anew.

This is now something I will keep in mind as I continue the life of commitment. In my dream the feeling of happiness came from a simple life, a life of freedom and no choice. I did, I did not choose to do, I just did. This is something that’s just as true in the real world. Things you do can never be taken back, there’s no changing the past. Past, Future, Present…it’s really just a part of the same thing…so when you decide your path for the future your choice is the only one you get to make, so you better make it count for something. Let’s all hope we make the right choice…

Peace and love, Ola.

Stepping back and seeing the full picture

Today

I am writing now in the first time for several days. Last week was a vacuum; time, effort and thought sucked right into a vortex of nothingness. I don’t actually know what I’ve been doing. I have however reach a point where I can draw a set of conclusions, some share worthy and others not so.

First of all I just want to say that this isn’t me saying that I won’t continue with my projects or with my writing. Far from it! I will be continuing with all of the projects I have going on at the moment, and I will probably find some new ones to invest some effort into. However, I am starting to get to know myself and I am finding it hard to keep a consistent pace while doing anything at all. This week has been kind of like that.

The projects; status report…

I mentioned that my early riser project was kind of put on hold for about a week…I’ve been having some difficulties getting back into it. Part of the problem is that for the last week I’ve stayed up until way past my bedtime, some days as late as 4.00 am. This ruins my schedule, but still I’ve been getting only 5 hours of sleep.

I’m still going strong on my vegetarian diet. Not really much to mention, unless you want to hear about my recent discovery of beans…Chilly Beans, baked beans, butter beans, mixed beans, magic beans…you name it. I don’t know why I’ve been eating so much beans…ohhh and chopped tomatoes! Anyhow, I am going home for Christmas on Tuesday and I am certain that going back home will be a wee challenge when it comes to the veggie part. I’m not one to judge “my own people”, but I doubt there will be much understanding from anyone.

Meditation has kind of slipped off of my schedule the last week, it’s not that long since I started trying to put it into my daily routine but it’s proving to be quite hard to stick to it. I won’t quit, I will try to gradually get it under my skin….What I’d really like to do is to get to know someone who’s familiar with it. I’ve been thinking about finding somewhere in the city where I could find some like-minded people. It is kind of hard to keep things going when you’re going at it alone.

The dream journal has been hard to maintain, I have messed up my sleep schedule so as a result my dreams are almost nonexistent, I might be having dreams but I’m not remembering any.

I’ll try to keep my posts on a regular schedule throughout the holidays! Next time I write I’ll be home in Norway! Adios…

Yet again a small update..

I have been giving quite a lot of these lately; not real posts but more like a explanation to why there haven’t been any “real” posts lately. This is unfortunate of course, but I suppose it is the result of this week being a little outside the ordinary.

In other words, I’ve been busy. I have not been planing to introduce any of the persons that surround me daily, both of respect towards these peoples privacy and that I think it is a little off topic…After all, this is not a place where I come to vent, rather a place to focus my intentions and development.

That being said. I did have a visitor this week, and it has kind of brought me out of my daily rutine; meaning not as many diary “posts”, not getting to write down all of my dreams and not getting up at 5. I have done all of these activities, but not at the normal level. I have however had a new experience concerning cooking, being that there’s suddenly another person to think of when making dinner. It has resulted in some varieties that I haven’t tried before and that’s all really something I’m not used to.

Christmas is coming up, presents, decorations, social gatherings with and without alcohol and the traditional meaty Christmas cuisine. This will definitely be a holiday of temptation. I really don’t want to go back a step from where I’ve gotten to, so this means no meat. The most unfortunate thing is that I suspect that it won’t be accepted or taken lightly by the surrounding people. I have a feeling that many might feel as I’m taking a stab at them or their values, giving them a reason to go with the aggressive approach to respond to a accusation or intrusion that has never even been made.

A lot of this is out of my control, but as long as I keep up my end of the agreement I am certain that no sceptiscism will bring about any unbalance. These are not my doing and I can therefor not be held to any of the claims fabricated out of misunderstanding, stress, frustration and defensiveness.

I will try to make another post in a few days time. It’s important to me that I give an insight into the changes occurring. I will only ever write sincere posts, a promise made to everyone and something which I will make this something to look back on with pride.