Once Again, A Short One

I am still really swamped, but it’s the last part of the essay marathon, and I’m about to start sprinting. I am taking a break in my essay writing to write this. I’ve been really frustrated about not having time to write any updates…it’s been 4 or 5 days since I last posted. That’s just way too long.

As I mentioned before I decided to change my work habits…I wouldn’t say that I’ve succeeded yet, because this feels temporary and I know I won’t be able to keep it up. Instead I now begin to see how I can improve…for my next assessment I’ll try to start preparing at least a month before…so that I can focus my energy writing instead of researching and writing at the same time.

One things for sure, I should be way more stressed than I actually am…I have moments when I see the situation in another perspective, and that’s when I get stressed. When I focus on my own perception and try to put it into the real context, I can’t help but to be amused of how sickly I need this kind of approval to tell me that I am “worth” anything. That’s ridiculous! The outcome of all this will have some effect on my life, but it can’t change the reality of my life….the things that are really important have nothing to do with CAS results.

In 20 years time, if I look back at my life and think of good grades as the highlight of my life, I do not think that I have actually live or learned anything. It’s our experiences that make us into who we are, not our grades. Knowledge and Wisdom are two very different things.

Two Days Left

Tomorrow I’m going to reap the benefits of getting up at  5.00 . I’ll put the extra hours to good use, making the last push towards the finish-line. I have been having a little problem with a lack of sleep the last days, so I’ve been taking some naps…makes me eager to try the Ubermann Schedule….

Dream a Little Dream for Me!

I have been having a hard time remembering anything from my dreams for the last couple of days. It seems like they are lingering around just too far out in my peripheral vision for me to see. I see nuances but I can’t make any sense of the “shape or feel” of them.

This seems to have something to do with the amount of sleep I am getting; Since I started the Lucid Dream project at the same time as I started getting up at 5.00 I think that I maybe got some “unstable” results the first part of last week. I have a fairly accurate sense of how my sleeping pattern has been changing and a little insight into the way it affected my dreams.

When I was getting “less” sleep than I needed (not really so, it just felt like it since I was getting up so much earlier than I used to), I had very strong memories of my dreams almost every time I woke up. Gradually as I became acclimatized to the new schedule my dreams became more like how they were before, almost nonexistent. This could be because I am no longer in mid-REM sleep when I wake up, yet judging the way I feel when I wake up, (awake and refreshed), I do think that I am somewhere in between phases or maybe in a lighter state of sleep (definitely not in deep sleep, because if someone disturbs me in deep sleep I feel like a popped balloon (picking myself off of the floor =P)

This would explain why I’m not able to recollect my dreams and my level of alertness when I wake up. I have read some forum posts from other people’s experiences with lucid dreaming, and I think I’ve found something that I’m going to try tomorrow (or today…or will it actually be tomorrow? I guess I’m doing the preparations for it today, but I will be doing it tomorrow…riiiiiiight, anyhow;

Strategy for tonight

I will set my alarm to go off at 4.15 am, when that time comes around I’ll go for a walk around in the flat, go back to bed and then sleep until 5.00

What theoretically will happen is that I will be up long enough for the conscious part of my brain to find it’s bearings, but not long enough to fully awaken…so when I go back to sleep my consciousness will have a easier time identifying the fact that I/it, or he….I think I’ll call it a he from now on =D, is actually dreaming. That way it should be easier to become lucid and to remember my dream afterwards.

I’m not sure whether or not it’ll work, so I won’t get my hopes up, but if it does work…this’ll be the first place I’ll post the update XD

First Week Aniversery

As the title says, it’s a week since I started this blog. I must say, the first week has gone by at an alarming pace…it seems that I have been writing one post per day, this might be a activity level that I’ll get a problem maintaining. Mainly because I’m not experiencing that many changes from day to day.

The projects that I am currently working on are ones which will benefit me in the long run, so a week won’t give much time to feel and see the changes that occur. Often I won’t notice them until a couple of weeks have passed.

Here’s how I’m doing on the different undertakings:

Vegetarian Diet

I am now two days into my third week as a vegetarian, and I must say that I am finding new ways of enjoying the diet every one or two days. This weekend I had my first stir-fry with rice….and of course a dash or two of soy sauce. The previous week I ate a lot of raw vegetables and fruit. I haven’t really been doing any real cooking, so this will probably be a thing to focus on as the weeks go on.

There are some things I have never tasted, like sweet potato…so I think I’ll have to muster the courage to go out and buy some, and try to make some kind of meal out of it.

Caffeine

Not really something I will be writing any more about, this turned out to be a easy habit to drop…and not really something I miss. There are some times I really feel like having something warm to drink, so to be on the safe side I should probably buy some herbal tea.

Early Riser

Now this is turning out to be a hellish thing, I am still having trouble going to bed at the right time…and as a result I wake up as a Zombie…having to fight my way out of the grave! I am just about to go to bed as I write this and I am hoping that tonight will bring some progress on my Lucid Dream project…

If I have a dream worth mentioning it’ll end up here!

G’night!

New Day

I’m too late to make the daily post…but I think this counts as yesterday…Tomorrow never came!

*It’ll be a short post today*

I had a hard time getting up yesterday/today…..looking at how long it actually took me to get going from when I woke up, I’m actually happy about the fact that I managed to will myself to get out of bed. The day when I wake up before my alarm, will be the day I give myself a pat on the back…until then I’ll just have to make it happen…

I think the point about this is that when I make something happen for me, I get the the most out of it when it finally happens. If it was just thrown in my lap, I wouldn’t be able to tell if it was the thing I had been looking for, and it certainly wouldn’t mean as much to me as if I had pursued my goals on my own terms, gaining more experience as I went along.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that `the journey in itself is half of the achievement’, without it the value and overall point of the result wouldn’t be the same.

Some journeys are meant to last a lifetime, setting new destinations as you go along..